Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Some people need a kick in the balls.
Dear Asshole(s),
It has come to my attention that you have not been attending your daily/weekly/monthly kick in the balls. Due to your assholery, it is essential that you attend these foot-to-groin meetings. If you refuse to attend, other, more severe methods of punishment will ensue. If you have any enquiries please phone 040A SSH OLE.
Thankyou for your time. I will be in touch for your next kick.
Sincerely,
Big Foot.
It has come to my attention that you have not been attending your daily/weekly/monthly kick in the balls. Due to your assholery, it is essential that you attend these foot-to-groin meetings. If you refuse to attend, other, more severe methods of punishment will ensue. If you have any enquiries please phone 040A SSH OLE.
Thankyou for your time. I will be in touch for your next kick.
Sincerely,
Big Foot.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Shakespeare
So I have a bit of an issue with Shakespeare; or at least, how people perceive Shakespeare. When asking about the like of Shakespeare, many people will reply with "Oh yes, I love Shakespeare! Romeo oh Romeo where for art thou Romeo...." LAME. Firstly, Romeo and Juliet is Shakespeare's weakest creation by far. Secondly, quoting such an overused phrase does not make you intelligent; it just makes you a douchebag who's seen Baz Luhrman's interpretation. Which brings me to my third point. BAZ LUHRMAN'S ROMEO AND JULIET IS NOT SHAKESPEARE! Saying that you love Shakespeare based on a modern interpretation with Leonardo DiCaprio in it does NOT make you look cool or educated. Go and see a live showing of Hamlet or Midsummer Night's Dream and THEN tell me you like Shakespeare.
Jesus Christ!
That's all for now, folks.
Jesus Christ!
That's all for now, folks.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
God Hates Fags
So, I just found a fantastic website about how much God hates 'fags'. The congregation even make videos of them singing 'hymns'.
Some of the lyrics, you ask?
"God hates the world, and all it's people"
Interesting way to look at religion really.
Okay so we're all going to hell, so while we're alive why don't we just hate everyone and tell them how sinful they are.
Sounds like a FANTASTIC way to live. Really. Props for them.
They also say that it's too late to pray for forgiveness. Which really, I understand. I mean, once you're a sinner, you're a sinner forever. God doesn't forgive people! That's just insane! God is going to punish you!
Jesus Fucking Christ. Assuming that there is a God, and a heaven and a hell; I can safely say that I doubt I'll be the one going to hell.
Fuck I hate fundamentalists.
Some of the lyrics, you ask?
"God hates the world, and all it's people"
Interesting way to look at religion really.
Okay so we're all going to hell, so while we're alive why don't we just hate everyone and tell them how sinful they are.
Sounds like a FANTASTIC way to live. Really. Props for them.
They also say that it's too late to pray for forgiveness. Which really, I understand. I mean, once you're a sinner, you're a sinner forever. God doesn't forgive people! That's just insane! God is going to punish you!
Jesus Fucking Christ. Assuming that there is a God, and a heaven and a hell; I can safely say that I doubt I'll be the one going to hell.
Fuck I hate fundamentalists.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Adam and Eve
God created Adam and Eve.
Eve had three sons.
Then, by some Godly magic, the rest of the 6 billion or so people were created.
WAIT A SECOND.
Eve had three sons.
So... Eve had children with her sons?
Oh I see. Well, how wonderful. The basis if Catholic teaching is built on a story of incest, but Homosexuality, Abortion, Premarital sex and Contraception are wrong.
Good one, Jesus. Way to promote a hypocritical religion.
That's all for now, folks.
Eve had three sons.
Then, by some Godly magic, the rest of the 6 billion or so people were created.
WAIT A SECOND.
Eve had three sons.
So... Eve had children with her sons?
Oh I see. Well, how wonderful. The basis if Catholic teaching is built on a story of incest, but Homosexuality, Abortion, Premarital sex and Contraception are wrong.
Good one, Jesus. Way to promote a hypocritical religion.
That's all for now, folks.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
The Assumption Argument
The following assumptions can be made:
Therefore, the assumption can be made that over 50% of men and women in the world's population are lesbian or gay.
Therefore, the assumption can be made that lesbians and gays are the majority, and heterosexuals are a perversion of nature and a big bunch of freaks.
That's all for now, folks.
- All women that play sport are lesbians.
- All men that act are gay.
- All women that are mechanics are lesbians.
- All men that do gymnastics are gay.
- All women that have short hair are lesbians.
- All men that dance are gay.
Therefore, the assumption can be made that over 50% of men and women in the world's population are lesbian or gay.
Therefore, the assumption can be made that lesbians and gays are the majority, and heterosexuals are a perversion of nature and a big bunch of freaks.
That's all for now, folks.
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